Lucius Bod | Rogue Diary

I was carried gently into the ether, where I saw white doves fly above me and ominous-looking dogs running on the ground. My five closest friends waited many years for my return, and like the lights in a big house their existence dimmed and they met me in the desert, one by one. I felt them all next to me without the shell of my body, bereft of restrictions from facial expressions to show them how much I missed them.

My sadness became someone’s tears; my anger became someone else’s anger when I looked back through memories of my short life. Perhaps I waited for it to end impatiently, leaving myself adrift in negative emotions and deprived of smiles. A force I recognised intuitively emanated light and warmth at the end of my journey and guided me into a new consciousness; I found peace at last.

I drove past the house you finally lost during the Recession. The garden is now covered in the sepia tones of our past. How I hated our fights! You were such a bitch to me sometimes. Well, I hated the moments when we could not communicate with each other.

Asher became your fourth husband, but he also loved your "cruel pretty girl" demeanour. As you explained to your girl friend at the time: "who cares what his family thinks? Who's got the pussy?" You are a true philosophical juggernaut. I won't forget your last words of feminine wisdom: "When it comes to boyfriends and gifts, the more they give, the more I can receive." Genius.

This city feels so enormous, and I lower my head to look at the small space I own in it. I always admired the way in which you picked yourself up and dusted the dirt off you to start again, anywhere. Call me when you get to San Diego, I miss you.